So, there is new relationships. Everything is good, i’m happy, i’m feeling better then was. I’m returning in normal life

But this normal life is killing me from the inside. I can’t understand where is all my minds, feelings, etc

I feel like i’m in super clean white room, without any furniture, without door and windows, i have only silence here, so it is just big totally white space. It was in my head. I tried to think about something but I wasn’t able to find any topic to discuss in my head, something wrong with me

But when Alina (my new gf) started to dm me with dots, like “okey.” “I understand u.” O started to panic bcz it means she is mad at me or something else. I got stress. This stress helped me to get out from this space without anything.

Fuck i wanted to leave life with stress, i wanted to be normal, I didn’t want to be closed with ppl ( bcz i already started to be close to ppl, nobody know about my emotions clearly, only if they read all descriptions from the collection) but looks like I have to live under stress to function. Fck what is going next?? What if i will burn out, and i will be in mental hospital? Okey i don’t want to know the future, будь что будет, на деле разберемся