Today before my painting challenge, I placed my order with Chef Gordon for a little snack to keep one going until high tea with Mummy and Papa. He rustled up a beef tataki with aubergine satay and shiitake and truffle ponzu. I have to say it was scrumptious but I’m not quite sure about the ponzu. Maybe Chef could only get common black truffle instead of white. Explains why he lost those two stars I suppose.

As I was being driven in the buggy to my landscape of choice for today - the woods just behind the 12th hole of Papa’s golf course, I became aware of the melodic sounds the colours of the grass were making. Everything was so vibrant in the sunshine. The birds were speaking to each other in different accents… one of the pheasants roaming the estate had the cheek to call me a posh tosser! Jokes on him - he’ll be dead on the first day of our hunting party to open the season.

I began to paint the beautiful woodland, it’s singing colours and captured the trees walking around.

Signora Paesaggio was most impressed by my surrealist cubism representation of the woods and applauded my work from her seat in the Crystal chandelier. I’m quite unsure what she meant but Harrison, the unicorn who escorted me home, explained my skill with oils was beyond her simple mind.

Anyway, Worcester has summoned me for Wagu with wild truffles and I can’t help but feel the Chippendale armoires are talking about me.