Today, or realistically just minutes ago (5pm July 11 2025) I finally managed to print out my first test pages. It’s been a very challenging few months, but I’m making progress. So much time is sunken into research, learning, trial & error, hard stop road blocks. Having to dedicate time to learn things as a work around to things that don’t work in tech. While simultaneously troubleshooting & trying to focus on physical / mental healing. The two things don’t align. One gets sacrificed for the other & sacrificing your well being at 44 years old pursuing anything “artist” adjacent in today’s landscape is surely not a wise ROI. There’s too much context missing but at least I got something finally printed. My ability to focus & look at screens, busy UI’s & endless clutter is currently my biggest challenge. It’s like my mind hasn’t had the ability to defrag, run virus check & organize for years. I need to be analog & offline so desperately. This world no longer allows for that, especially as an artist and that’s such a tragic reality to someone with severe adhd trying their hardest to focus & recalibrate. I know I’m always the one to express from heaviest of sentiments but man, how long and loud can your soul scream it senses danger ahead as intuitive self preservation before we suddenly B.S.O.D.