A big wound remains after leaving. It bleeds.

Anxiety. Feeling out of place. A desire to crawl under your own skin, if only the internal pain was not so strong. Hide from it inside yourself, if only not to feel. Perhaps this is also disappointment. Not only in yourself, but in the person to whom your feelings were addressed.

You are torn apart from within by the strongest emotions, you try to at least control them a little and learn to live with them. You transfer them from the inside to your physical body and feel all the pain that sits somewhere deep inside you.

The process of a person leaving your life feels something like this. You were left, not abandoned, no. Just left alone with your emotions. And instead of suffering, you paint an emotional series of pictures about this departure and the experience of what happened.

physical art oil on canvas 2024