Sometimes I blink a few times on purpose, as if trying to adjust the sharpness and contrast of my new reality. More often at moments when I find myself in a sensual spacesuit. It's like the saturation of life has been lowered by someone, and I can't find the remote control to fix it. And it seems like so many events, so many things to do, thoughts, plans, opportunities, changes, but it's like everything is in a kind of haze, a fog. Just thoughts running...
Here I am. In Odesa. On a bench by the sea. How do I feel now? Honestly. Will I miss you? Honestly, I can't tell. It's a beautiful view. Asya, do you want water or juice? Has the brokenness mended already? No. What a beautiful couple walking along the promenade. Asya, take a photo of me, please. Maybe you shouldn't grow your hair after all. Am I happy? What do I want? I can't move out for a year. It's a nice evening. How beautiful is the red sunlight on the glossy railing.
To catch myself in the moment. In the daily routine, at breakfast, on the mat, in meditation, with a pen and a white sheet of paper, sitting on a bench in the park next to a strange man who plays the violin. To regain a familiar level of sensuality. To be aware of what's going on. To dispel the fog around you with your attention
