Undefined Disorders 2nd Era: Crash Report of a Plane Hitting the Anus Flower Blooming Atop the Mountains
The crash occurred this morning. I was woken up at noon by a phone call asking me to review the report. Usually, it takes me about an hour to pull myself together and another hour or so to head out, but this was urgent. So after being rudely awakened, I was on the road within twenty minutes. I was still yawning while driving—I’d fallen asleep around 5 a.m., and seven hours of sleep, of course, wasn’t enough to erase weeks of fatigue. I need a much longer rest, one that lasts days. I love sleep. If sleeping were my job, I’d never get tired or bored of it. I’d want a lifestyle built entirely around sleep. But I know myself well enough to know I’d get bored eventually and start seeking something new.
On the way, I stopped at one of my favorite cafes to grab a hot latte and then at a small market to pick up a few gluten-free snacks. Gluten has become a heavy burden for me over time—probably the result of years of dietary abuse—but I’m not knowledgeable enough to say for sure. Anyway, you’re listening to the ramblings of a sleepy man right now.
By the time I arrived at the crash site, four hours had passed since I was woken up—so the trip took me about three hours. I hadn’t realized from the map how far it actually was. I guess it’s finally time to rely on digital maps. A plane had crashed into one of those massive anus flowers that bloom only at the peaks of mountains above 1,200 meters. Greeted by the stunned faces of a few onlookers who clearly hadn’t figured out what happened, I skipped the small talk and headed straight for the wreckage.
Only the tail section of the plane had burned, while the rest bore the type of damage you’d expect from hitting the ground—but not too badly. It occurred to me that the anus flower may have softened the impact, acting as a bizarrely efficient cushion. From this idea, I inferred that there had been no fatalities. Indeed, I was told the plane carried no passengers apart from the pilot—it was a training flight. The pilot, I learned, had already been taken to the hospital and was reportedly doing fine—not even a nosebleed. He was simply in shock.
In the strange aftermath of it all, armed with the facts I’d gathered and some photos of the crash site on my phone, I decided to return home. I had a feeling there was still much to be surprised by.
June, 2025 by Demon Ego
