no5ay_: Sad & Craving For Air

"Sad & Craving For Air" by Daniel Jerome /no5ay_ collection 2021 4000x5000, 300ppi Digital abstract paint expressionism

It's Christmas Eve 2021...& I woke up with overwhelming sadness. It felt......it still feels like there is a heavy shadow casted over my head. Worry about the things I shouldn't be because how I should be feeling doesn't feel real. Who is telling me that I cannot make it real by choice?

Sulking in sadness usually is known to me as the wrong path..a decision consisting of waste...but this could be a sign. I'm thinking of taking action later, but taking action now would remove the uncertainty, until I face the obstacles that I've already been up against this month. I have some hours left of being awake for this day that I know my family looks forward to. I don't want to let my family down for being down. So I don't know why feeling down feels so right....is feeling wrong part of forward? I just want to feel hopeful..about everything..everyday..and I can't even recall what is truly taking that from me. I want to breathe & feel more alive..I know I'm alive, but that definition is having trouble selling the thought to me...Just idk why today..Not today...I will not continue to go down like this. I will find the air I need because I need it & not stay upset because I'm accustomed.

twitter: @danie1jerome instagram: @no5ay_ (digital paint abstract artwork) other insta: @burnedbyairfryer, @fiasco9.0, @danieljerome