no5ay_: Queasy

"Queasy" by Daniel Jerome /no5ay_ collection 2022 4000x5000, 300ppi Digital abstract paint expressionism

2022...Hasn't been a terrible start at all...Many things for me to look forward to...Much hopefulness that I will try my best to prioritize for the sake of fam, friends, & my own emotional + mental well-being this year...But there is this uncomfortable turning in my stomach. I wouldn't call it a rocky start, but some speed bumps that my mind has been stuck on even after having passed that unbalanced feeling already. So much more learning and even more unlearning that needs to happen..The goal is the detach from the negative, but mental block is, how to effectively practice detaching from the reactions+labels that don't serve or benefit, after having subconsciously practiced for years or programmed since early early on?..Might be too attached to that concept..Six days into 2022 & feeling a late start..questions on questions..understanding the idea of "mindfulness" and awareness in all, but not being able to tell if progress is being made, because I always feel like I fall three steps back for every two steps that I've made going forward...This whole life thing is a journey..I already knew that...So why do I feel like I can't just set the desired goals & accomplish them?...More accurately..why can't I believe in them...or believe in myself becoming the goals...my ideal vision..my idea self. It's like I don't believe that outside factors have a say & I can follow my gut to get me through...Still...something isn't fitting right. I know I'm in 2022 and the kind of courage I need to muster...but 2020...2019...2018...2017...2016...2015...2014...2013...2012...these versions of me won't let me walk away easy.

First /no5ay_ piece for 2022.

twitter: @danie1jerome instagram: @no5ay_ (digital paint abstract artwork) other insta: @burnedbyairfryer, @fiasco9.0, @danieljerome