a memorable descent

we inhaled materials purchased from a hardware store in bags that once contained expired deli meat and road our favorite ride once a year to commemorate the time we spent buying things we couldn’t afford

or trying to understand why we always quit

or why falling was more satisfying than climbing and why our veins craved failure the same way they craved a heated spoon or burning foil

and we hoped to dissolve into the piss soaked waters of tourists as insufferable as us transforming into immovable growths like the aerosol in our capillaries

and reality disintegrating in unison with our credit scores and marriages organs

we cherished the fall for its inevitability and resented the climb for its deviation of normalcy