dying is not enough: desk ornaments

I got job offers via text for jobs I didn’t apply to from recruiters promising death within a year

I’d text them back and ask if it was true that I could die in as little as thirty minutes a day in the comfort of my own home

they said it came with other benefits too like a pillow for your lower back and a wired headset

and a commemorative watch that helped apply pressure to a finger wrapped around a trigger

and a shower curtain waiting for a final deposit