think of the body as ash spilling an orbital road

I remember how your hand touched my hand and my sadness left.
I remember the sky being so blue it turned the bird blue and leaked into me. I remember hitting that bird with my car and pulling over and crying because birds with one wing can still fly. I remember too much 4-Acetoxy-N,N-dimethyltryptamine lead to radical vulnerability leading to nose bleeds on the J train leading to laying on the grass shouting “ I am here i am still here motherfuckers”. I remember the world ended and started again and nobody noticed. I remember having nothing to fear then remembering whiteness. I remember the way your hair smells like spring and how that rested me. I remember rolling down that hill crushing all the orchids. I remember the soft wind kissing my cheek. I remember the death of the empire came and nobody noticed. I remember shoplifting from that trendy downtown store and getting caught but laughing cuz u should steal from white people. I remember yellow flowers opening portals to that elysia crampton song about the waterfalls. I remember the bird wing I carried around in my pocket for weeks until we buried it in my mother's backyard. I remember the world trying to kill me and shining like a drop of sun. I remember daybreak and the collapse and that sacred air. I remember that time you shit yourself in my living room and we laughed cuz god is good and fuck the haters. I remember merging my body with the sky then nothing at all but the sky and the world standing still and the flowering trees kissing each other slow and the birds and nothing but us in the world being trapped with each other in the world.