This story is about complex PTSD. I got out of an 18 year relationship 6 years ago, and to this day he still haunts my dreams. It's confusing to be going about your life, doing your best, being in a new relationship, having a family and then suddenly the subconscious brings back these horrible memories to remind you of where you were before.
The first two years were very rough, i had nightmares daily for the first year, probably cried daily for the first two years. Sitting in therapy and listening to them tell me this could take 5 to 10 years to heal from was mind boggling. I couldn't imagine living in this grief for that extended period of time. But over the years it lessons, it gets easier. It hasn't gone away but it doesn't rule my life. I've mostly made piece with the fact that this will continue until I've processed everything that is needed.