I still remember the time when my heart was free. When I was excited for the future, and wondered what will become of me. But now there’s always fear and perpetual despondency. That crushing of my chest, god damn my anxiety.
When I looked at the world at ten, I saw the birds and the trees. I would laugh for no reason and lost myself in movies. And a world divided on a decaying planet is now all I see. And I get scared about the future, stay up late in worry.
Small things that should me easy can cause an internal battle. Opening up to a loved one can make my bones rattle. The pressure of succeeding, listening to people’s prattle. Every problem feels overwhelming, how do I begin to tackle?
With no answer, I just keep going, Pretending I am fine. Promising myself I’ll try to do better, or drowning my worries in wine. I think about the days gone by when I wasn’t so empty. When I wasn’t afraid to express myself. God damn, anxiety.
A mixture of Digital techniques ( Generative art + Painting + Manipulation) made while I was having a lot of anxiety recently.