Searching For A Save Point (Continued...): Tumblr (SCM Music Player) Track List [2008-2012 curation]
This is only a partial snapshot of the tracks I uploaded to my tumblr page from around may 2008-2012.
When I first joined twitter in May 2008, I was still using TheHobbyshopHero.Blogspot as my main curation site, as time went on, I fully stopped updating TheHobbyshopHero and pivoted fully to Tumblr.
In my early tumblr days, I handled music curation via the now defunked Blip.FM, It was dope because It allowed people to upload and share music along side 150 characters to add additional context or thoughts. It was a like a social virtual DJ platform, think twitter but dedicated to sharing music....(later turntable.fm evolved this concept but well save that for another time)...
I eventually pivoted from Blip.fm to using an Embedded music player called SCM Music Player.
To me, this felt like the original myspace music player but on steroids because you could infinitely keep adding to the playlist, and the playlist would play seamlessly with no disruption to the music play back even when navigating hundreds of pages or scrolling for hours.
I'll stand by this sentiment till the end of time, that the ability to add / upload music that can autoplay on your profile/website is the ultimate litmus test of identifying resonance / similar interests.
I stand by this because this is 100% my experience with both myspace and tumblr, which to this day were the most impactful spaces on internet in terms of both artistic growth, but more importantly forming lasting, long term friendships.
Especially when the music you are showcasing is more obscure or niche, when the right people stumble upon it, it was the ultimate conversation starter.
My tumblr music playlist was pretty infamous, I'd love the ability to calculate the total time of all visitors spent either idle or actively scrolling my tumblr page.
People said they would sleep to it, play it at parties, while doing housework, or painting.... It was such a positive experience connecting with people just by sharing music.
It wasn't just posting into a void, there was a constant inflow of both direct messages and comments.
Before Algorithms, or my 180 pivot of full transparency as Dutch the human. The way I utilized social media like tumblr, facebook, twitter, instagram was very different.
I never typed paragraphs, but expressed myself in a more cryptic way that was still personal... Often using references or riddles... This doubles for what music I wouild share, If you were the person who was dating me at the time, you would know instantly when the song uploaded was a direct communication about how I feel or what we were going through.
I tend to still use instagram Stories in a similar way.
Beyond the positives of being able to signal boost lesser known musicians or curation in general, I often used my tumblr playlist to debut demo's or music in progress in the moment....
Tumblr was only one site of many, but it's very difficult to find a single user who doesn't look back at that time as one of the greatest and most positive chapters of the history of the internet.
This sentiment changed for the exact same reason as all the rest.
The forced curation of an algorithm that cluttered up and buried the curation of the people you chose to follow.
It was a really simple concept....
Maybe you follow someone based of a few posts, or whatever. Then one day they pivot and begin spamming or reposting stuff you are have zero interest in....
You have the ability to Unfollow that person...
You controlled your attention, while also having the choice and option of experiencing curation from those who you follow....
this formula and function of the internet in spaces meant to be social or discover interests wasn't only effective and impactful. It was an experience you looked forward to, you had the option of totally binging and spending too much time enjoying your time in the virtual world, or just popping in occasionally....
What mattered is, your time away didn't negatively impact your ability to reach the followers you have when you returned, and as long as you had the patience to keep scrolling... you also had the ability to catch up completely, not missing a single post from a single follower from the moment you logged off to go experience the real world....
I am not being dramatic or hyperbolic when I say, not only do not enjoy consuming or sharing on any place on the internet anymore....
I actually feel irreparably traumatized and damage almost daily.
I'm a 45 year old man, with a long history as both a very positive and confident human. Bread from the golden era of hip-hop and battle rap and conscious music....
I am very strong willed and stubborn...
If I say that being exposed to the internet and social media both as a highly observant human, and as a life long artist has completely negatively impacted me in such a deep, and consistent way that 99.9999% of the time what I observe and/or experience makes me wish I never formed a love for art or music, definitely wish I wasn't an artist myself, but most importantly, makes me wish I was me or alive anymore.
It's because my highly objective, super autistic to recognizing patterns, broken systems, and analyzing the data especially when it's consistent day after day, year after year....
It's because what I am observing and experiencing is a nightmare.
and while I have enough confirmation and testimony from both creative friends, and none creative friends and loved ones to know, it's not just isolated to me, or my sort of separate algorithm of doom being fed to me....I don't enjoy hearing that people I care about and trust have similar inescapable dread, fear and hopeless that feels foreign to them, especially for the ones around my age. All people that were confident, secure, optimistic and enjoying life even during rough times, somehow all share a similar unshakeable feeling of hopelessness and emptiness that began shortly after the pandemic, and has ramped up exponentially since...
So I guess there is some solace in knowing i'm not alone in just realistically reacting to how much very real and scary information we are being forced to observe daily.
But there are extra layers for me specifically that intensify and make continued exposure to this stuff much more impossible to shake off.
Ground Zero would be my physical health. Something that began a few year prior to the pandemic, and has increased in severity and compounded since.
There is absolutely no way for a stranger reading this to understand or empathize because even those closes to me, who witness various things I go through, have no way to understand or relate what they can't feel, and the reality is without healthcare, I myself have no real idea what is happening, what is the cause of which symptom, what makes them worst, what can be improved or if there is no resolve or relief or course correction in the cards.
Multiple severe separate issues, I have no control over, no idea how to resolve and all make existing a normal human pretty much impossible....
So that is baseline....
everything else good or bad is filtered through the lens of my health.
even if I wasn't priced out of healthcare, the reality is healthcare doesn't function in a way where competence and expertise lead to good patient care or finding a resolution.
healthcare industry more than others functions top down. The most competent and caring physician or nurse is beholden to red tape & policy...
This is / was the baseline realistic expectation of our healthcare system, as someone who spent a decade deeply embedded with access to seeing how it all functions first hand, traveling state to state teaching them.
With that in mind, someone in my position doesn't have the luxury of being numb or dismissive of politics, and lets say you are pretty walled off from paying attention to what's been happening the past decade but especially the past 2 years.
you have to know objectively, that the impact to healthcare as an industry is very much unavoidable, and even those who at least had/have medicade or Medicare are now screwed. So someone without insurance at all that can't get access to even that due to location or broken systems..... would you have hope?
now add to other rare and unrelatable layer that, isolation didn't start nor end with the pandemic for me, I could go in depth of how and why but it doesn't change the reality that almost every 24 hrs, 365 days a year, I'm completely alone, no irl human connection with maybe 3 hr windows of short visits every month or few months.
So completely isolated, health extremely bad, but no one around to help or delegate anything to difficult to do to...
extra layer.... I'm 45 years old, almost all my immediately family has passed or is far way struggling in their own lives.
what's left?
hey at least there is music and legacy tho right?
well that's all I've had to hold on to and fuel purpose to keep pushing through each 24 hr.
Anything you've seen me release, share or create the past 4 years was done pushing through extreme discomfort, don't get me wrong, getting lost in the creative process is the only form of relief or escape I get, so I live and have always survived thanks to being able to transport and transmute via the process.
but it's what comes after....
Music has never been something that provided security or success... that never even had to be a factor because I always chose to keep a career separate from my creative expression.
but I still dedicated to my entire life to this culture, both as a creator and a collector, curator, supporter....
music is the healer...
So being trapped in the present timeline where culture has been completely abused, devalued and dumbed down, I always am emotionally impacted by that.
So now you add the layer of algorithms, streaming services.... More extraction, greed and broken systems....
now add an extra layer of A.I. ontop of algorithms that already prevent established long term creators to reach a fraction of the the audience they built.
now add the extra layer of knowing all work you upload, that have no impact or reach (something that was just natural or normal for decades) is being used to train data sets.... meanwhile, you are bound by IP and copyright strikes....
Does anything I've shared seem like an exaggeration? No.... I spent decades completely content, happy and inspired.... the only thing that changed is the data that consistently proofs, we are no longer in a world where we have control over our future. The amount of work, dedication, sweat, care, expertise, quality, consistency you put in no longer dictate the results you get back....
but the only result I give a single f about is meaningful human connection and impact.
remove that....
what's the point of pushing through the rest of more immediate and critical hardships mentioned, especially alone.
I don't need sympathy, I'm just battling to prove my creditability , history, wisdom and lived experience.....
I'm not some hyper negative person crashing out.
but I am someone who is out of energy processing data that what remaining energy I've kept spending has had zero meaningful impact while ingesting objective doom that I have no chance of sustaining a future that leads me to resolving the physical health issues out of my control.
so the museum has to include the cause and effect that justifies and forgives the path of choosing to sunset existing.
Tumblr was dope tho....
if things like that existed in the present, maybe pushing through the rest of madness would be tolerable..
but all our treats were taken away haha...
at least for those us stuck with experiencing life soley through a digital experience....
There's alot of dope music in that playlist.. Hopefully someone who stumbles on this at least is impacted in a positive way through music that impacted me in positive way.
- signing off.
Searching For Save Point.
- Dutchyyy