Unmanageable #123/235

In "Unmanageable," I undertake a profound journey into the heart of life's intricacies. This endeavor serves as my expressive outlet, where I reveal with a profound sense of awareness the truth I've discovered:

Control is a mere illusion, revealing that ultimately, everything, when you get down to it, is… unmanageable.

This insight was hard-earned, shaped by the trials of life, stretching across its wide and stormy expanse.

I learned that every job is fundamentally about humans, about our interactions, emotions, and the unpredictabilities that come with them. It's a space where logic often gives way to the unmanageable nature of human relationships. Every expression of joy or frustration, every miscommunication, has offered me deep insights into the intricate web of human connection—complex and poignant in its reality.

Finding a fulfilling romantic relationship is often attributed to luck. Yet, 'luck' scarcely encompasses the turbulent flow of connections and disconnections shaping our bonds. I count myself fortunate in love, yet this fortune comes intertwined with complex emotions, with moments of intense happiness shadowed by the fear of loss, creating a deeply emotional experience that touches the very core of my being.

I've wrestled with the market – deciding on supply, price, and facing down the haunting shadow of imposter syndrome. It's a realm where unpredictability reigns supreme. I find myself in a constant comparison with others, better or worse, only to realize, in the end, it’s all unmanageable. This constant comparison, this relentless self-scrutiny, is a journey fraught with doubts and triumphs, each leaving their indelible mark on my soul, a story etched in every line of my work.

Even money, especially in its digital, internet-driven form, eludes true grasp and understanding. It’s a nebulous world, where value shifts in the blink of an eye, often leaving more questions than answers, a reflection of the fleeting nature of what we hold valuable.

And then there's time, ever fleeting, always escaping. It slips through my fingers like grains of sand, a poignant reminder of the ephemeral nature of our existence, of moments that pass before we can truly grasp them.

Yet, there’s another layer to this unmanageable world – the way we consume and interact with content. People don’t read anything thoroughly anymore. E-mails, tweets, descriptions like this one, often go unnoticed in the whirlwind of information overload. We live in an era where content is devoured in short video form, fleeting and fast, leaving little room for the depth and contemplation that written words offer. This shift is indicative of the chaotic pace of our lives, where immediacy often overshadows depth, and the meditative quality of reading is drowned out by the constant barrage of visual media.

In "Unmanageable," I challenge this trend. By presenting my thoughts and experiences in a format that demands engagement beyond the superficial glance, I invite viewers to pause, to delve deeper than the ephemeral video clip. This project is a fragment of my soul, a narrative of my journey, laid bare for the world to see, in all its unmanaged, raw, and sincere form.

Press [s] for .jpeg | Press [p] for .png on live mode Click to unpause/pause animation Made with p5.js

Rob Scalera | 2024