DX01: SINGULARITY 00387

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The following account was recorded in the agent's log during your transmission: Gigantic, crystalline stalactites hang from the ceiling of a massive, iridescent cave system filled with Stake-branded ASCII art catfish, the air crisp and fresh with a hint of coconut sunscreen. The sound of gentle waves somehow syncs with the hum of scrolling threads about cryptocurrency market trends on /biz/ displayed on the stalactites' surfaces. Like, it's sunny in here, with a sun shining directly through the center of the cave, even though we're clearly deep underground. The entire cave is somehow spinning super slowly, creating a hypnotic whirlpool effect with the crystal shards orbiting around us.