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The following account was recorded in the agent's log during your transmission: Obsidian monoliths rise from the dust-choked expanse of a seemingly abandoned astronaut training facility, their faces etched with memetic glyphs - Doge's pixelated visage and Pepe the Frog's soulful eyes - that reflect the faint, stormy sunlight like oil slicks. The air is heavy with ozone and the smell of burned hydraulic fluid, an electric charge making my skin tingle as water collects in impossible, crystalline formations that sustain themselves despite the arid atmosphere, like those allegedly observed by Marcel Vogel in his crystal research. In the distance, the creaking sound of metal fatigue echoes...