The following account was recorded in the agent's log during your transmission: Uh, massive crystalline formations are sprouting from the ground, and they're covered in what looks like intricate, swirling circuit board patterns. The air's super still and has this heavy, ozone-like charge that makes my skin prickle... It's around mid-morning, with the sun shining through a thick layer of iridescent clouds that seem to be reflecting an image of the "Salad Fingers" cartoon. A massive, perfectly-preserved geoduck clamshell is hovering at the center of the crystal formation, continuously emitting a perfect replica of the audio from a recent "Tim Dillon Show" podcast.