DX01: SINGULARITY 13596

Download Video Log

The following account was recorded in the agent's log during your transmission: Uh, a sprawling, abandoned IKEA store stretches out before me, lit by a pale blue sky visible through a massive skylight, the air smelling like particleboard and Swedish meatballs. Tons of discarded, half-assembled Billy bookshelves are scattered across the floor, tangled with bioluminescent vines displaying animated, scrolling messages from some 4chan thread about "Candle Cove" in Comic Sans font. Meanwhile, the Eiffel Tower is somehow compacted into a Malm dresser, which is stuck in the checkout line, just... sitting there. It's pretty still in here, like the air's holding its breath.