True North

True North by Boss Logic

My True North

Happiness that I have never found and I finally know why, I have been looking for the wrong thing my whole life,

I have said to myself, if I pay off my families house, my life is complete, I saved them, my job is done.

I have always said, I'll make a million dollars, I'm free of debt, I'm good to do what I love.

I have always said, I want to work in the entertainment industry and be respected...

Grateful to have done all these and more

But how am I feeling, right now?
Would not say lost but definitely searching for that something...

I live in a world where all my personal memories exist in my mind, I never really took photos and videos growing up, many years of my life are not documented but in memories, in a mind that is slowly fading away, I can't remember much these days and it hurts because I know the time is coming when these memories are all ill have to remember key moments.

I forgot about me a long time ago, and for the longest time I thought it was me creating art and finding purpose, but it wasn't, it was a side of me that wanted to exist only to realise I personally locked myself away from everything that is good, family, friends... The sun.

I wake up most days saying I hate it here, but where is here? I created here, I made here what it was, here is my fault, I have come to the conclusion that my mind is an awful place to live sadly moving out is not an option.

I remember being in Syria at my sisters engagement party, where I had a fight with her (I regret) I sat at the beach it was a cold night where the moon lit up the night sky and the surface of the ocean hearing the slow crashing waves, I remember telling myself i want to just stay here forever, live here and hear the sound everyday for the rest of my existence and honesty I still do want that, chasing money, people, fame don't compare to the peace.

Want to remember why I am an artist Not better than anyone, I am just one, in a sea of many. To draw those waves and have them mean the same thing to the eyes that see it as the hands that drew it....

To believe in myself. that's my North.