THEODORE ROOSE-FELT

As told by his Darren’s father, Gerald Nash:

"We didn’t believe him. Little Darren had an overactive imagination. He cried wolf too many times. “Dad, the TV can see me! Dad, my cereal just jumped out of my bowl and ran away! Dad, My t-shirt stuck itself to me and is sucking my blood! Dad… blah blah,” Of course none of that was true. We would humor him for years. I cut up his shirt and would tell him I could hear it scream. I would unplug the television and I made a little pretend “firewall” so that the TV couldn’t see him. But it got overwhelming. Well, his grandmother made teddy bears and sold them to the local toy stores, and for his 6th birthday, she made Darren the largest teddy bear anyone had ever seen. She had everyone in our family help out with it, it was quite impressive. It took 6 adults just to get it up to his room. He loved that thing, named it Theodore RooseFelt, which I thought was a little too clever for a 6-year old. But soon enough, just like the TV, and the bed, and the toilet, he started making claims that something was inside of it. That while he slept, Theodore would inch closer to his bed, and even once, drool trickled from the stitching where the mouth was. Naturally, we were fed up. Nancy and I refused to humor him anymore. On Thursday mornings, Nancy always made pancakes in the shape of rockets, and Darren loved those. He waited at the table every Thursday hours before Nancy would even crack an egg. But yesterday, he never showed up to the table. I went upstairs to his room, and when I opened the door, I lost my breath and immediately felt drunk with confusion. Theodore, the giant teddy bear that took 6 GROWN MEN to position in his room, had been TORN to shreds, disemboweled of his cotton, and laid lifeless on the carpet. The room was in shambles, and Darren was nowhere to be found… But, wait, what’s that moving in his stomach?"