The Spear
This artwork is done with a personal feelings. I had a lot of short trip in the past few weeks ago and had so many things to relived. one if it all is about being the first born daughter. In my culture that still hold up with eastern way of lifestyle, it's the woman who are responsible with the houseworks. So yes, my mom ask me to understand the responsibility of being a "woman". That is my first order.
The second order is about being the first born-er. I have to be the great example for my younger sibling. Yet I was the skinniest person in the family cause the struggle are real when the new family is just born.
But as the first born child I was have a lot of energy to argue back to get my justice back. I argue a lot and win sometimes, sometimes even if I was right I still had to ask forgiveness because I talk back to my parents.
since then it's hard for me to say sorry. Sometime I can feel my heart is cold on accepting the mistake I made cause I was raised to be the best. I can't make any mistake because if I make one, I have to apologise.
Sometime, I don't know which one is hard, being a woman or being the first born child. It's all difficult equally and I have to have both.
Everything is expected in order, yet it is still not enough.
The perfection haunts and the flaws can't be flaunt.
As an artist, art help me release mistakes without saying sorry. I can make any mistakes if I want. I can use colors wrongfully and strong to disturb or to calm the void.
