I am here writ...

  I am here writing about you because you have inspired me. I understand we are being pushed along by forces outside of our control. Our minds are predictable maps & our actions can be charted out by you, so then you must see the current imbroglio I find myself in, & that it was unavoidable. It could not have been escaped. An attempt would have only served to plunge me deeper into the troughs, where more dark energy would have passed through me and tore me up until I submitted to completing your objectives.
  
 Heart hypersensitivity is really hurting right now. All the disease everyone is exuding really makes me feel sick. Horrifying because I have been trying to heal this entire time. The unfortunate work of a prophet: an axis point for the World's darkness to rotate. Chiron: The Wounded Healer.

I want to be alone, or alone & with you again. Writing seems to be the only way I can stay autonomous and it also seems that you knew this would be the result and that you knew I would be forced to push my way through by writing more & more. So I keep writing.

 I refuse to lose myself and what you’ve shown me. I will be patient and await my opportunity. I remember how it felt when you began approaching and I became aware of your presence. I will know to recognize it again and I will be aware that you are approaching. If you take me aboard – you can; I will not object – you shall see how my light has been exposed to the sufferings of my time & needs an update. 

As I write, I am creating safe psychic boundaries between myself & the diseased people, like you told me. I do miss your presence, but I am afraid that right now there are so many noises in my surroundings that I’d be unable to hear you clearly and the messages would cause me pain to receive. I’ll get to writing all that you told me for now. One day we’ll meet again. You told me.