FLATBUSH

(Unlockable Content: Full MP3)

This is my most sentimental, vulnerable, & valuable creation to date.  March marks 5 years that I have been working on this long term piece, and 5 years since I lost my good friend Jacob, he left this world & all the people whose lives he touched. He was my first friend in Flatbush. He was one of those people who lit up the room, who seemed to have inside jokes with everyone, and brought joy & smiles to everyone. He was always just a text away, when we would get stressed about daily occurrences we would meet up for a "cigarette break from life". This went on for years, until the moving cogs of everyday life and relationships caused us to drift apart.

I felt a strong weight when he died, as if, had I chosen a different path, maybe I could have helped him. What if I had been more engaging/present/determined to be there as a friend. Maybe I could have saved him. I felt like I failed him. But, what if it'd gone differently, maybe had I taken the other path, if I stayed close to him, I could have left this world WITH him that night. I think about how there could have been two funerals in March '16 In March '16 Flatbush Zombies + Save Art Space collaborated on sponsoring local artists to display their art on billboards in Brooklyn. I submitted this piece and it was selected to display on a billboard in our neighborhood (Flatbush). Jacob introduced me to their music, and that was the same month their album "3001: A Laced Odyssey" dropped, and it felt like everything came together at the right time. It was cathartic, but it took me years to make sure this project represented everything it needed to.

In the end we can't dwell on "maybes" and "what ifs".  The paths we chose were the ones we walked. It haunted me despite my logic, so I painted my emotions & composed this piece as a message to him & anyone else who feels the weight of survivors guilt, lost friends, paths chosen and not chosen, & memories of moments that will never be re-lived.